Today’s Terrible Writing Club Prompt: Why is it so hard to say no?
In the past, it’s been difficult for me to say no. There were senses of obligations. Fear of letting people in on the fact that saying yes now might mean I can’t do it the day of. Fear of not being the “cool girl,” the sexually liberated girl, when I went further on a date than I intended.
Fortunately, these fears have become irrelevant. I’m in a committed relationship. I feel less obligated to so-called “obligations” the older I get. And in being open with my mental illness and anxiety, when I cancel last minute, I tell them that’s why.
I feel like when it comes down to it, the hardest thing about saying no for me, is not wanting to appear vulnerable. Wanting to keep up appearances.
I did something a week or so ago that was tough – I was invited to something I wanted to attend, but the price was steep. And instead of pretending to have other plans, or saying yes, but cancelling last minute, I said no, and straight up said it was not within my budget.
There’s a lot of shame and stigma in not wanting to be seen as someone struggling with cashflow. But I sucked it up and admitted that I couldn’t afford the activity to a trusted member of my chosen family and I felt lighter afterward. And if I say no with honesty, perhaps it might rub off on other people.
So, if you’re not feeling it – just say no! It can be liberating af.