On Dylan McKay and Luke Perry

The most world-weary 29-year-old

Sixteen-year-old to grace the small screen

An emancipated minor with

Worry lines and crow’s feet

Was the foxiest of Fox’s Gen X zip code


Brenda your brunette Betty

Kelly your blonde Veronica

But Dylan was never wholesome, schoolboy

Broken Jalopy Archie


To the eye

You were the bad boy

Motorcycle, leather jacket & sunglasses

With an alcoholic past to match


Underneath that eyebrow scar

Was the surfer poet

Golden-hearted loyal friend

Who’d help Brandon up off a cliff’s ledge


Dylan McKay was the blueprint

For Tim Riggins

Jordan Catalano

Ryan Atwood


Even Ray Pruitt


From 1991’s next James Dean

Denim, leather, hairsprayed pompadour and all

To 2017’s premiere CW DILF

Denim, weathered, facial scruff and all

And a working actor in between


Former castmates, coworkers, neighbors

Paint a picture of a humble, affable

Kind and generous man

May this be your legacy


Dylan McKay is immortal

But Luke Perry is gone

A generation is questioning its mortality

This is supposed to happen to our parents’

Teen idols—not ours


On David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian, Sr.

I think about this a lot

OJ Simpson’s trial started

A few months after

Friends premiered


Kim Kardashian is on that

Gen X/Gen Y cusp

She was the perfect age

When Friends was all the rage


So, while young Kimberly

Was dressing like Rachel Green

Her daddy, Robert Kardashian Sr.

Was defending OJ


David Schwimmer played

Robert Kardashian Sr. in

American Crime Story:

The People v. OJ Simpson


How weird was it

For Kim to know

That Ross Gellar

The thrice-divorced paleontologist

And nobody’s favorite Friend

Was playing her dad?


There was Ross Gellar

Begging Cuba Gooding Jr.-as-OJ

To not shoot himself

In a replica of Kim’s

Young teenage bedroom

JTT posters and all


There was a gorgeous young actress

Playing 14-year-old Kimberly

While Ross-as-Robert explained

That “Uncle Juice” was innocent

And warned his children

About the price of fame


Maybe Robert and Kris Kardashian

Were the original Ross and Rachel

But in reverse

I can just picture Kris insisting,

“We were on a break!”

When Khloe was born


I wonder if Kim and Kanye

Watched The People v. OJ?

I doubt it

But I bet they do watch

Friends reruns on Netflix

To relax sometimes


This loose poem is inspired by NY Mag's The Cut's feature, I Think About This A Lot