Mercury Retrograde (an Ode to Mavis Gary)

This mixed state mixtape

Is nineteen years old

Nineteen years isn’t so long ago

But how pathetic—

I’m the only one who’s Made It

 

Most of Mercury’s haunts are long-gone

Another small-town downtown

Is a graveyard of empty storefronts

I’m living big in the Mini Apple

But I got your email—you invited me!

 

I ditched this ghost town after high school

But for some reason you stayed

Don’t you know that you’re above this

Small-town bungalow mediocrity?

Married to some townie

Named after a Kiss song

 

Ghost her, Buddy

Run away with the ghostwriter

Let’s ride out of this shithole

In that old shitbox car we used to fuck in

While we rewind “The Concept” again and again

 

Some would call me arrested

You are the one who is arrested

Cuffed and bound

Tied down with a boring baby

Let our love set you free

 

I am your gorgeous, 37-year-old

One-woman teenage fanclub, Buddy

See me standing before you

Melted down in a red wine-soaked blouse

I didn’t want to hurt you, whoa-oh

 

But I’m constantly hurt

Hurting myself with every blonde strand I pull

Hurting everyone around me without knowing

Hurt knowing the ghost gig is up

 

The jig is up

I’m constantly alone

 

Hush, hush

Keep it down now

Mavis Gary

 

Let’s ghost these fucking losers again

I pour two liters of Diet Coke

Down my throat to drown them

 

The memories never fade

I’m constantly in Mercury Retrograde